Is this for me?

You know, I thought about starting a blog because I had all of these great ideas and worthwhile things to say.  Then I start the blog, and I really don't have all that much to say.  Maybe this isn't for me, but maybe it is.  I had started this once before, wrote a few posts, then decided I didn't know why I was doing it so I stopped.

I can't stand that. Not knowing why.  When it comes to my faith, I have no problem with not understanding "why" because I understand that God is God and I am not, and he knows a heck of a lot more than I do.  I know we are compared to sheep and Jesus is our shepherd, but I like to also think of it as a young child - parent relationship.  A child who wants to eat candy all day long does not understand why they can't.  The parent knows that candy could ruin the child's teeth, cause cavities and infections, and that serious infections in the mouth can affect the heart.  A child has no understanding of this, just that the parent is depriving the child of (what he/she thinks is) a good thing.  We do the same thing with God, and so I am okay with not understanding why with God, because I understand that He loves me more than anything and only wants good things for me.

I get frustrated when I don't understand why I do things, or don't do things, when I see them happening so wonderfully inside my head.  I don't understand why I decided to start a blog, which is probably why I haven't told anybody about it.  It's like Paul said in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  I am notorious for starting things and never finishing, especially when it comes to hobbies, working out, routines, etc.  So I am determined to stick with this.  To stick with everything that I start or else just buck up and realize that I shouldn't start <insert activity here> if I know I won't finish.  So is this for me?  This whole blogging world?  I don't know.  But I am going to stick around long enough to find out this time.